his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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