why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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