Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
