Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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