i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize