He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
