Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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