Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
