my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
