I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
