chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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