Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
