well I can't set my house on fire every night
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
He did a backflip because drugs
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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