you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
