So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I love having hate sex.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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