Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
