Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
