Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
