I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
