Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
