hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
