thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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