did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
