I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
