And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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