just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize