I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
