You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Randomize
