the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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