I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
