Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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