no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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