I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Randomize
