I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
