I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
