All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
