whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize