everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
