The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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