his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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