he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
