Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
