You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
North Korea, Best Korea!
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Your cock deserves a montage
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Randomize