I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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