Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
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