He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
