You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize