U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
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