can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
