Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
