I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
he fucked my hip out of place.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
