She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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