What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
