The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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