On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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