even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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