The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
