Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
