areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
