My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
did i walk over a car last night?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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