My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
