My friends, they love my intelligence
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
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