ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Randomize
