last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize