If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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