Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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