He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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