Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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