i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
