I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize