He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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