Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
