so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
