Me too!
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
