There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
