Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
