I wish my penis had an off switch
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Randomize
