i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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