..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
