I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
