He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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