I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
