i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
